Umor aviatic

matreata, sigur, de aviatie in nici un caz sunt mancat pana in maduva oaselor

" Glossary of aviation terms:

Emergency generator - device which generates emergencies, also known as a simulator.

Landing light - preferable to landing heavy.

Bank - owners of mortgage on aircraft.

Walkaround - procedure when waiting for better weather.

Briefing - spending a long time saying nothing.

De-briefing - spending a long time saying nothing after you have done it. "



ATC: Alitalia 345 continue taxi holding position 26 South via Tango check for workers along taxiway
AZA: Ali345 Taxi 26 Left a via Tango. Workers checked - all are working


ARN851: "Halifax Terminal, Nova 851 with you out of 13,000 for 10,000, requesting runway 15."
Halifax Terminal (female): "Nova 851 Halifax, the last time I gave a pilot what he wanted I was on penicillin for three weeks. Expect runway 06."

[quote="virusu"]matreata, sigur

Se poate trata, cel mai bine cu indiferenta. Oricum, nici de asta nu scapi.

Mengelaus a scris:

" ATC: Alitalia 345 continue taxi holding position 26 South via Tango check for workers along taxiway
AZA: Ali345 Taxi 26 Left a via Tango. Workers checked - all are working

ARN851: "Halifax Terminal, Nova 851 with you out of 13,000 for 10,000, requesting runway 15."
Halifax Terminal (female): "Nova 851 Halifax, the last time I gave a pilot what he wanted I was on penicillin for three weeks. Expect runway 06."

...scuze, dar nu ma pot abtine, genial

True conversation heard at Hanover Airport. The young woman in Tower has recently finished her training and is still not completely at ease. BA XXX is at holding position runway 09R. Another aircraft is doing approach procedures for a landing on the same runway. Tower wishes to expedite take-off for BA XXX:

Tower: BA XXX, are you ready for a quickie ?

BA XXX: Lady, I'm always ready for a quickie, but first I have to fly this plane to Helsinki !
______________________________________

Unknown Aircraft: "I'm f...ing bored!".
Air Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!!"
Unknown Aircraft: " I said I was bored, not stupid!"
_______________________________________

Cessna 152: "Flight Level Three Thousand, Seven Hundred"
Controller: "Roger, contact Houston Space Centre"
_______________________________________

Tower: Have you got enough fuel or not?
Pilot: Yes.
Tower: Yes what??
Pilot: Yes, SIR

Un avion rusesc se prabuseste in Alaska . Pilotul se salveaza dar il prind americanii. La sediul CIA, interogatoriu:
-Bai tavarisci, ce sistem de radiolocatie folositi voi?
-!?!
-Bai tavarisci, ce sistem de propulsie aveti, bai?
-!?!
-Bai tavarisci, daca nu ne descrii aparatura de bord ... te fac arsice! Il iau doi malaci la tabacit, dar rusul nimic. Dupa o vreme cand la un schimb de prizonieri ajunge rusul acasa il intreaba colegii:
-Ia spune Ivan cum a fost in captivitate la americani?
-Bai baieti , puneti mana pe carte si invatati aparatura de bord ca daca va prind americanii si nu stiti, va tabacesc de trei ori pe zi!

nrares a scris:

Sam 14 Feb 2009, 01:46
Un avion rusesc se prabuseste in Alaska[...]

Mengelaus a scris:

Joi 19 Feb 2009, 18:58
Un avion rusesc se prabuseste in Alaska[...]

Dacă tot suntem la secţiunea "umor", propun avertizarea user-ului Mengelaus...

Şi acum serios: şi ştergerea ulterioară a postului meu (dacă se poate fără avertisment pentru încălcarea paragrafului 2.5 din regulament).


Edi

Muhahah stiam eu ca am mai citit bancul undeva
Pardon pentru dublura,voi suporta avertismentul cu capul plecat

Edi a scris:

nrares a scris:

Sam 14 Feb 2009, 01:46
Un avion rusesc se prabuseste in Alaska[...]

Mengelaus a scris:

Joi 19 Feb 2009, 18:58
Un avion rusesc se prabuseste in Alaska[...]

Dacă tot suntem la secţiunea "umor", propun avertizarea user-ului Mengelaus...

Şi acum serios: şi ştergerea ulterioară a postului meu (dacă se poate fără avertisment pentru încălcarea paragrafului 2.5 din regulament).


Edi

Neah nu ii bine il Sanctionam cu 2 (doua) avertismente pentru ca am ras si a doua oara

kkk a scris:

Neah nu ii bine il Sanctionam cu 2 (doua) avertismente pentru ca am ras si a doua oara

hai 3 ca sa mai aibe unu pana la groapa cu lei

aaaaa Stai ca nu-i asa rau, ca maine is la serviciu toata ziua

Ca sa ma iertati mai pun cateva care aproape sigur nu au mai fost:



Q: Why does the Pope kiss the ground each time that he lands ?
A: Did you ever fly with Alitalia ?

Q: What is the ideal cockpit crew? .......
A: A pilot and a dog...the pilot is there to feed the dog, and the dog is there to bite the pilot in case he tries to touch anything.

Q: How do you know if there is a pilot at your party?
A: He'll tell you.

Q: What is the difference between a flight attendant and a jet engine?
A: The jet engine stops whining at the gate

contribui si eu cu 2 desene

in perioada de criza...


dilema piloatelor

de criza , https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fEUdQ4cf9PA .

"Pă timp de criza, investeste in alcool!"

inca una de sf valerica. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dSBM1xjKPxk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6He-8RKroPU&feature=related

d-ale controlorilor:

departure taking care of one CF-18 after an airshow:

ATC:"-Allouette 22, what's your heading!?"
CF-18:"-........"
ATC:"-Allouette 22, what's your heading!?"
CF-18:"-......................."
ATC:"-ALLOUETTE 22 DO YOU COPY???"
CF-18:"-...... aaaaaah, we're not heading...... we're climing....."



"the two most important rules for an atco: ONE: never apologise on frequency and TWO : never call a pilot "sir"! let THEM feel YOU superior......."



Once upon a large military exercise off the north of Scotland a US carrier F14 Tomcat pulls out of low level calling ScotMil Allocator ....

ac "Scottish this is $%66ee&&&gle]]!! zero 2, requesting radar climb"

ScMil "Testicle 02, squawk 6501 ident"

ac "JESUS H CHRIST, Scotland, the callsign is foxtrot, alpha, sierra, tango, echo, alpha, golf, lima, echo, F-A-S-T-E-A-G-L-E 02"

100 % adevarat

Henri Coanda este intrebat de un reporter :

REPORTER - Domnule Coanda cum ati reusit sa strangeti banii necesari fabricarii primelor dumneavoastra avioane ?
COANDA - Scriam.
REPORTER - O , sunteti si scriitor ?
COANDA - Nu. scriam tatalui meu in Romania sa imi mai trimita niste bani.

Tatal marelui pionier in aviatie era general in armata romana.

Frumos "lucrat"...

Sper sa va placa, le-am gasit pe net.

Credeti ca ar trebui sa-i fac si eu un costum motanelului meu EXTRA ?

Eu zic ca da.... restul?

pilotanda a scris:

Credeti ca ar trebui sa-i fac si eu un costum motanelului meu EXTRA ?

Pe motan il cheama Extra??? Hahaha! Acum le-am auzit pe toate! Andra draga...


... bei copiii, eu zic ca proiectul urmator la Ro-Spotters e sa-i cumparam la asta mica un Extra! Punem toti ceva banunti, mai vindem ceva calendare, dupa care sper sa avem bani sa-i luam unul... hehehe... Dupa care ea, tre sa invete sa-l piloteze si sa ne duca pe toti pe rand

... Glumesc cu tine Anda.. sti ca ne esti draga

.... asa deci, saracele animale. Se pare ca acel catel nu e prea incantat sa fie "pilovion" (adica pilot/avion). Eu zic sa-l lasi pe saracul motan sa alerge dupa pasarele si veverite Te imbraci tu de Halloween in Pilot(a) Ce zici?

Da,pe motan il cheama EXTRA!
Sa sti ca nu ma supar daca primesc un EXTRA 300 L.

pilotanda a scris:

Sa sti ca nu ma supar daca primesc un EXTRA cadou.

Un EXTRA cadou sau un cadou EXTRA?!

La avion ma refer
Dar si o macheta ar fi buna!

Zbor pe ritmuri de rap